I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
