Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
