I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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