Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
