Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
