there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
