I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
