Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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