We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
