Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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