You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
