We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
