And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
