he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
