I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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