I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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