her vagine was all disorganized.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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