Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
