Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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