I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
