wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
