I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
