omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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