Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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