we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
