How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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