hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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