Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
