literally had 100 drinks last night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My life is pants optional.
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