I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
