so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
