I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
