glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
