What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
