you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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