you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
