Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
