she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
