You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
