the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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