Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
