I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
