I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
