with your own penis?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
