What did we do last night that was yellow?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize