yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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