If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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