Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
