remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
