my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
