That's when you crack a 10am beer
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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