I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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