um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
