You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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