somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
