she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
