Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
