I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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