He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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